I Think I'll Stay In
Lyrics
after a day of empty tasks
i go to sleep, tear off my mask
i am a stranger, even to myself, whoah
always this aching in my guts
regular things leave me torn up
nobody asks me how my day has been, whoah
but sometimes i start leaking sap
self-hating jokes that don't get laughs
it won't be very long til i act like it never happened
it won't be very long til i forget it ever mattered
yeah, i'm cool, it's fine.
hey, you wanna hang out? watch cartoons and cry?
day after day my mind goes dim
i grow out and rip off my second skin
my journal's empty, no will left to write
i am unfit to love myself
the check engine light keeps burning out
subconscious thoughts are rising to the top
but sometimes i start leaking sap
self-hating jokes that don't get laughs
it won't be very long til i act like it never happened
it won't be very long til i forget it ever mattered
yeah, i'm cool, it's fine.
hey, you wanna hang out? i'll watch you drink wine
i pulled the sword from the rock
but i got shy and put it back
the people stared, all were appalled
"we thought that you were someone else"
i feel empty
from a grade that passed the class and nothing more
when the treadmill of self-care becomes a chore
tired of counting hours of missing sleep
i'm always tired
and i grow
and i change
and i hate
what this world has done to me
not calm
not safe
no joy
only tragicomedy
a wizard came, knocked on my door
"we need your help", they implored
oh, they warned, if i accept,
i must be sure cuz i can't go back
i'll be honest
i'm afraid of monumental change
less than i fear things might stay the same
what's the risk if i risk everything?
okay, i'll do it
Song Notes
i want you to know that i am rooting for you
these are my favorite lyrics on the album
(am i allowed to say that?)
lyrics are so, so hard for me
i spent at least as much time working on the lyrics as i did the music
it's important that every song have a "point" to it
and that the "point" is something i find compelling
otherwise i just sing vague bullshit and the song becomes a vacuum
but it's so much easier for me to get a "hit" on the music side
than it is for me to get the "hit" lyrically
and even then... i have no idea if people are going to understand / connect
whenever i get discouraged i will literally listen to popular music that i think sucks
and i go, "well shit i can do THAT"
and then i get motivated again!
otherwise i'd just listen to the Blue Album once and give up
because will i ever write anything better than the Blue Album? doubt.
this was originally going to be the last song on the album
until i flipped out and changed it, which was a whoooole thing
Recording Notes
the graphic fuzz once again kicks ass on this song
tyler also uses a big muff & the POG for the choruses
fun fact: one time they blew out a G12H Celestion speaker
they were rocking out to muff + sub-octave POG at the time
and it just decided to give up
don't be like the G12H
Next: Breaking Up With A Friend
