(Un)emotional Support Animal
Lyrics
i'm chain-smoking cigarettes
with parasocial youtube friends(1)
hardly even made it out of bed
i'm communist but uninformed
self-medicated, body sore
with symptoms that i cannot afford
hey babe, why do you date me?
cuz i'm a red flag but you act like it's white
you're naive to try to fix me
what a pity cuz you can't win this fight
i'm calling up my therapist
and telling her i feel like shit
or maybe i won't talk to her at all
lately i have been depressed
by "lately" i mean "always been"
i'll fall asleep as i rewatch The Fall
hey babe, why do you date me?
cuz i'm a red flag but you act like it's white
you're naive, to try to fix me
what a pity, cuz you can't win this fight
i'm always broke but i'm always working
i wake up tired after 8 hours of sleeping
when i'm in the car friends won't give me the aux cord
cuz i only listen to Hospice(2) and grindcore(3)
you say you love me but i know it's pitty
my mom's an addict and my father hit me
get off my back and take off this muzzle
cuz you're not a hero and i'm not your puzzle
hey babe, why do you date me?
does it feel good to pretend you're my mom?
hey babe, you should hate me
because i hurt you when it's not your fault
hey babe, hey babe,
hey babe, hey babe, hey babe
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(1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cwGwkupmWk
(2) https://www.discogs.com/release/1855864-The-Antlers-Hospice
(3) https://chepang.bandcamp.com/
Song Notes
here's me deciding... art or accessibility? the vocal take is one long single take and my breath control sucks. but should a song like this have a good vocal take? i feel so comfortable making that an active choice. i could go back and make it better but i don't want to. and now that i've done that, i can make the opposite choice, the most perfect vocal take possible, without any compunction because i've already "proven" to myself i can commit to my own artistic desires at the expense of hypothetical popularity. this song is inspired by a total psycho a friend of mine briefly dated, the kind that weaponizes their trauma. i think we know the type: the ones who are in desperate emergencies on a regular basis and just burn you out. is "my mother's an addict and my father hit me" an excuse? exaggeration? an actual cry for help? answer: probably all three.
Recording Notes
the song starts out in mono. then kablammm it goes to stereo (includes the drums!) michael came up with that one. that's one reason of a million why he got that co-producer credit!
Next: Diary of a Teenage Robot